This is a weird one for me, but I am an honest person who thinks it, says it, so I guess I got to say it. I read a piece this week about the things “Friends” do or don’t do, which was a bit strange in itself, as surely the idea of friends does not come with a tick list of do’s and dont’s, as this is people we are talking about and not a check list for buying a car.
With that, you have to understand that we are all unique, and have our own quirks and individualities. Also, if you are going to write a list of expectations for friendship, surely it would come with a pre requisite that you at least follow this same check list yourself. otherwise the whole idea and foundation is laughable and built on glass. So let us break out and toss around the one I have an issue with. Friends should not lie!!!!!!
Well pardon me, but there is a fine line between lying, which in itself is a pigeon holing and sweeping word, and choosing not to tell someone everything. This may be determined by past, or history, or simply what you are choosing not to share is so personal, or deep, or even dark to yourself, that it is not something you choose to share. That’s not lying, that’s self preservation or protection. Now of course, you may get to the stage where you finally do share everything with said “Friend” and in the next breath they blab this to all and everyone, in which case you had a very good reason not to share in the first place, they have proved your point, and the vicious circle starts again, which means you lose, and they can brand it a “lie” all they want, but their idiotic, two faced and crass behavior have proved your point in the first instance. See where I am coming from?
But the one thing you are proud to take from this, is despite its stupidity, they are still harping on about it so long after the fact. You should be honored that they have nothing better to think about, or at least smile wholeheartedly, that you have moved on and left behind, but they are still wallowing in the puddle of crap that they created in the first place. Maybe you should throw them a rubber ring and some armbands.
Now Aesop would write a fable about this, but me I just choose to share with those I KNOW i can trust. I’ve been stung so many times. You share things with people, and the response comes in three forms. The first are those that treat your words and emotions with the respect they deserve, they are true “friends” in every sense of the word. The second are those that take what you have told them, stick two fingers up, and with a total lack of respect, do exactly as they please anyway. Then the third are those that don’t actually listen or take any notice of what you are saying in the first instance, make their own version of events or words, and act on that. Now these are the most dangerous, because they have no understanding of just how stupid they are themselves, instead choosing to believe they are better than everyone else and could never be wrong, no, seriously, never, not them. 😉
This may see like a rant, but its genuinely not. I have learnt the hard way and am in a better place for it. My point is simply this, no one can stand on a pedestal and judge from up high, when the downside is, if you have shared stuff with the person you are pigeon holing, then imagine if they blabbed that to all and everyone, that prim and proper pedestal would come crashing down and smack you in your arse, but of course they wouldn’t because given the tick list we started with, after all this, they are a better “friend” that you ever were in the first place. Ironic that. 😉